What is this obsession with "being good" or "perfect"? Are we "good"? No, we are neither good nor bad, but our position is unique: We are at the top of the food chain and living that position means to know that we are not innocent like e.g. a lion killing
a lamb. No, we know about life and death, but still we do it. And, so be it.
We shall never always be pure or righteous in whatever we do. Many people, and especially women, opt for the perfection of character which lies in always doing the right thing, only that's impossible. That kind of respectability is based on lies, even self
delusions, because whoever claims "to be" respectable can't both be human and respectable all the time. There is no such thing as a human who was born respectable without being taught/trained.
What we can be is "as aware as possible". Let your aspirations, kindness, best wishes, hopes and love dig into the dark corners of your soul. I assure you, there will be light, even though it may only last for a short while. Never mind, it was there and I'm
sure it left some traces of your good will to be what you aren't and never shall attain: A perfect human being, respectable and pure from top to toe.
When you come to terms with your imperfections you may grow, and you may even find out that perfection isn't much without some flaws.